ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
