Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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