Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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