Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
