North Korea, Best Korea!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
