just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
