i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
