I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize