I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
