Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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