party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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