Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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