I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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