he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
false alarm, still single
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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