I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
