i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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