Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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