You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
