Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
