her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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