I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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