Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
