I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
COCAINE IS GR8
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
