We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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