hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
