I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I puked a lego.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
