with your own penis?
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
MIDGETS
????
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize