we were pretty classy up until the second keg
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
