I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
