I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
