i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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