i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize