yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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