Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
