I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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