u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize