Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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