xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
