how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
