i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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