Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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