just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
