Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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