ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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