Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i will never coherently bang her
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
