just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
