We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
