Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
