I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
