I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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