Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize