i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
