My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
