considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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