please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
