I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
