Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
