can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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